I’ve come to realize how badly I need to read the Bible. Twice today, I was corrected on very simple but very important things.

In those days John the Baptist came preaching in the wilderness of Judea, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Matthew 3:1-2)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)

I’m so frustrated, maybe I am too hard on myself and expect too much from myself. But dang it, when I was corrected, it made me a little afraid that maybe I haven’t reached the point yet where I can properly test and discern things. I felt like I was decent enough already, but I realized today that I’m still pretty immature.

God, I just want to heal, grow well, feel loved and happy, at peace, not striving, I want to please You, I want to be led into all truth, I want to feel safe, I’m tired. I hate how in these end times, there’s so much crap out there, so many half truths, so much distractions. I want to be like the Bereans.

I wish I could find one community that has it all. Everything I’m seeking. Someplace warm and great.

It’s so appealing to go out and go on a mission trip, but the more I’ve learned about people and human nature, and the church, and just everything, I’m just… That stuff’s crazy.

I remember Justin said there were some things in some sermons that I wouldn’t believe if I heard them, if I hadn’t read some stuff in the Bible. There’s such weird things out there that are completely true, and oh my goodness.

Daddy, please guide me well, Father. I’m still so naive, just trying to survive and stuff. Help me really screen and test everything, Daddy. Everywhere. Lord, help me experience peace, help me hold onto the good.

but test everything; hold fast what is good. (1 Thessalonians 5:21)


2 thoughts on “January 26, 2014

  1. It sounds like you are in a good place….. Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be satisfied….
    I love your humility and openness. Daddy God will answer you….
    Thanks for sharing this.
    cate b

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