Before I say anything else, I have to mention that I extremely dislike, basically hate, Mormonism.
Notice that I didn’t say Mormons.
I’m not sure why I dislike the beliefs as much as I do, but for some reason I do.
This being said, I decided that I wanted to tell people about Christ conquering death this week.
It’s the best news ever, ever. Plus, Easter is this weekend, so it’s a really good week to share the Gospel with people.
So today I saw some Mormon missionaries, and I decided to share the Gospel with them.
But as the title of this blogpost states, I lost the battle…
I got so caught up in hearing myself talk, I love hearing myself talk, I’m so proud, that I forgot to love the two girls in front of me. And when sharing the Gospel, it’s never supposed to look like I’m the conquering hero, trying to convert the heretical pagan in front of me. My battle is not with the person, but against the strongholds (the arguments and opinions…) that keep the person from accepting the Good News.
1 Corinthians 13:1-2 ESV
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 ESV
For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh.
For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.
We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ…
God has been showing me over and over how weak I am, how incredibly holy and beautiful and good He is, and how proud and foolish and prone to wander I am.
It’s His LOVE and GRACE that make Him irresistible, because if He weren’t loving, then I’m not sure any of us would want anything to do with Him. I guess we’d probably be jealous of Him.
It hurt today and the other times that it was so loudly revealed to me how completely tiny and broken I am.
I so badly need a Savior to save me from myself, and I so badly need His Word and His Spirit to guide me.
I don’t feel guilty or anything, just a little sad to see how proud I am… I didn’t like the arrogance that I felt bubbling on the inside as I would so perfectly shoot down their points and stuff.
In the end, it wasn’t that I knew how to argue, because I did argue decently.
The important thing was to present the love and grace of Christ, and my pride got in the way, so my message was compromised.
But I am happy that I caught myself about halfway into the conversation and was able to rescue the conversation a little bit.
So the battle wasn’t completely, totally, 100% lost. Maybe just like 68% of the battle was lost.