Today I went on a field trip to the Giddings State School, and I accidentally blew away several classmates with certain skills I take for granted that I’ve learned during the many times I’ve shared the Gospel and been around people that I sensed had demons in or on them.
For example, I’ve learned to be somewhat comfortable with walking up to completely random people and talking with them, asking if I can pray for them, etc, and apparently it isn’t really normal to be able to talk to random people with ease, but I was able/willing to ask the guys questions that came to talk with our group during lunch, and between me and another girl, we asked one boy all these questions and we really got a glimpse at just how messed up his thinking is.
This guy talked about how “ignorant the black guys are and they act like stereotypical black guys”… He said this when there was a black guy from the juvy sitting right next to him, I mean talk about being insensitive and having horrible judgment, and I couldn’t help but panic on the inside, thinking that he might get up and punch that white guy, but thankfully nothing happened.
He claimed to be a former member of Aryan Brotherhood, and he said he basically hates the people in his dorm and feels like beating them up everyday… This guy is supposedly going to be out in four months, and he was still so scrappy compared to our tour guide that praised God and looked pretty calm and happy.
The people I rode with to the state school, when they heard this guy was in AB, they got scared and didn’t want to be around him anymore, but I didn’t know that ABs hate Mexicans, plus I’ve learned that as a child of God I’m not supposed to be scared of Satan, and instead of running away scared and crying, I’m supposed to instead take authority and remain calm.
The guy and girl I rode with were both Mexican, and they were both amazed at how I was able to keep asking questions and show basically no fear on my face or in my voice.
But honestly, I’ve learned that the person is someone Jesus died for, and I wasn’t entirely sure if the boy had a demon(s), I suspect he does since he said he likes to punch walls and has all these violent and bad thoughts, but if he did have any, I know I’m supposed to not freak out and ignore it/them as much as possible and just focus on the guy and try to be warm and friendly and loving and hopefully share the Gospel through my actions.
The other girl that asked a lot of questions, I couldn’t get over her arrogance- she did not give off the best vibes at all. I was pretty calm and collected and curious about the guys that sat at our tables and I felt like crying because of how hard life has been for some of them. I just wanted to be a lot bigger than I am and hug them and cry with them and tell them that Jesus loves them, but of course they weren’t the size my nieces are, and they’re teenage boys, so I could just shake their hand and wish them luck.
According to my teacher, the majority of the guys that leave end up getting in trouble again and are just unable to remain clean and stuff. I had this in mind when I shook their hands and told them good luck, and it was one of the main reasons why I felt like crying and why I felt depressed during the field trip.
I was kind of bubbly and cheerful and friendly on the outside, but on the inside I was crying and wishing I could turn all of them into three year olds that I could hold and play with, and I was all too aware of the presence of a few demons there at the state school, but I ignored them and just tried to absorb all that I could absorb.
Today was a really weird day.