Well the past is playing with my head, and failure knocks me down again.
I’m reminded of the wrong that I have said and done, and that devil just won’t let me forget.
In this life I know what I’ve been. But here in Your arms I know what I am… I’m forgiven.
-Sanctus Real

I finally learned that yes, there is such a thing as a saved Christian that can be incredibly stuck in deep sin, and this has caused me to look at people I love that I wasn’t sure if they were saved, and instead look at them as loved ones that I’m just going to keep encouraging and praying for, but not wonder anymore if they are saved. This includes my family and some friends… I’m pretty sure that you can be saved even if you’re not a fan of Chris Tomlin and have never gone on any mission trips.

It’s funny how, I’ve been walking with Jesus for almost three years now, and I’ve gotten the opportunity and blessing to know people that genuinely love Jesus and obey Him (not perfectly of course), but have sinned sexually. I mean, I’m just thinking about at least seven people. D, D, J, M, J, T, L, A, B, T, M… The list goes on. The Church is full of people that have sexual sin in their past. And I used to think that the Church was full of people that behave well. Some people think the Church is full of hypocrites, but I see it as, yes there are definitely hypocrites, but there are also people who really do regret their sexual sin, or that are currently struggling with lust and dealing with apathy and hopelessness and shame and wondering if they will ever change.

I really appreciate that the Lord has given me the opportunity to see His Bride for who she is– one that has love for Him, but has failed Him miserably at times… and is still cherished by Him.

I really want to be someone that people are not ashamed to share their stories with, and to also be seen as someone that will not go around talking about their failures.

You’re making me like You, clothing me in white, bringing beauty from ashes… For You will have Your Bride. Free of all her guilt and rid of all her shame.
-Kalley Heiligenthal


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