I’m more than what these ashes say, they will fade away when He comes for me.

By grace, through faith in Christ I’m saved… I am not the same when He looks at me.

I am the rose, the joy for which You died. And this I know, I move You with delight. And when my heart condemns on every side, I take refuge in the truth, I am the rose to You…

He’s ravished by the sight of one glimpse from me.

I am the rose, I am the lily, I am Yours, I’m Your beauty.

There is going to be a wedding, it’s the reason that I’m living, to marry the Lamb.

Identity. Identity. Identity. I’ve been working hard to speak identity over myself, to have the faith to believe that He delights in me and truly forgives me for all the things I’ve done wrong, and that He isn’t angry at me for being so imperfect.

I think I’m going to confession at St. Mary’s every week now. I felt so happy and at peace and officially forgiven and cleansed of my sin when Father Banks raised his hands and prayed for me… I told him that I felt like God was angry at me and was far away and was just tired of my inability to stop sinning, but He totally rebuked those lies and was so freaking nice that it felt like he was Jesus Himself that was present, loving me, not judging me, actually feeling compassion for me…

God. I’m. So. Happy. I don’t want to just confess my sins when I pray before going to sleep, or when I’m walking around during the day. I like this more formal approach of confessing my sins. I like feeling like he’s not going to gossip or accidentally tell people. And, I really liked that I was able to talk to him and feel like he saw more than just my sin, and that he actually saw me as a person.

I’m so happy. I’m so happy. I feel like he loved some hell out of me.


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