So faithful, so constant, so loving, so true…

You see me. You know my every move.

I see both the Lord and the devil so clearly at work in my life, it’s unsettling.

Today, I unexpectedly told a Hindu graduate student about the Lord and His Law and Jesus, and I completely forgot to pray afterward and play worship music, because I mean, I had to do some spiritual warfare during and after.

My worries and the fact that I’ve been kind of distracted by how hypocritical and ashamed I feel for being ACCEPTED to a mission trip despite how much of a sinner I’ve been this past year and despite all the apathy and anger I’ve felt toward God lately, resulted in me forgetting that oh. I just told a Hindu student that apparently has never talked about religion with anybody other than his dad… I talked with him about Christ.

Yes, I angered hell just a tad. Despite all the trials and arrows and apathy and fatigue and temptations and burdens on my shoulders, I still talked about Jesus. And I talked about Him, because I might be kind of really mad at Him at times throughout the day, but His goodness and His Word make me so happy and keep me calm and sane.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)

That verse, and Psalm 34 and Psalm 37:7 have been what I’ve been clinging to lately. It seems like the Lord has brought me to a place of humbleness where I am just throwing myself at His feet like, ALL THE TIME unfortunately, and I feel like He is working to create in me a clean heart (Psalm 51:10)… Free of fear. Shame. Lust. Anger.

Jesus,

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? (Psalm 139:7, ESV)

Be still. Be patient. Expect the Eternal to arrive and set things right. (Psalm 37:7, The Voice)

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