Maybe this is just vent time, but tell me why, today I was speaking with a classmate that had a cord that I didn’t get, I was of course friendly to him and I enjoy his company and unfortunately really respect and admire him, but I would also find opportunities to have the upper hand while conversing, and be the one that was “winning”…

This was a sort of insecurity that was showing. I was basically telling him through these little actions of mine that uhm, YES I will do big things postgrad, and maybe I don’t have any cords, but that doesn’t mean a thing, and I do command respect damn it, so give it to me, and oh yeah, I don’t need you, I could be speaking to these other people I know, but I’m giving you a little bit of my precious time, you peasant. (Kidding, this boy ain’t a peasant.)

But Jesus, please humble me and show me how to exercise my dominion and authority and look and be strong, but not in an ugly, sinful, off putting way.

Who would have thought that I would turn into someone that can walk confidently and strongly into a room and not be the wimp that I used to be?

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