I see no stain on you my child…
I’ll restore your soul,
Come rest in me and be made whole.
I tend to think of God as clearly remembering every single one of my sins, and when I do another big sin, He’s just shaking His head and thinking to Himself that He seriously messed up in thinking that He could take a sinner like me and make her a saint. And it feels like He just gets so angry at me for failing to walk well, failing to obey, and that just leaves me so ashamed and like I’m never done letting Him down.
The world and my flesh and the devil, all throughout my mission trip and afterward, have just been so horrible.
Dad, I’m trying. Please tell me You see me trying. I need grace. This season of life is just difficult, and I need to know that You have grace for me. Tell me that You see the war I am fighting. And tell me that You can still love me, despite all the stupid things I’ve done this past year.
The fact that the Lord forgives and forgets our sins is something I finally learned this summer, and it’s been such a glorious, comforting thing to know. It’s something I needed to know.
Reading Psalms these past few months is what has given me strength.
To think that He sees no stains on me, makes me feel less ashamed when I look at myself in the mirror.